When you hear the word relationship, what is the first thing that comes to your mind? Think a little bit and leave in the comments what comes to mind, go ahead I wait for you.
Good! Most likely you must have answered something related to the love between two people, that carnal and passionate relationship, am I right?
I say this because when I was asked to write about relationship I was a little bit stuck at the beginning because the first thing that has crossed my mind was about a loving relationship and I knew that this text wouldn’t end up well. I spent the weekend thinking about the subject and consuming myself because of it. That was when I got a glimpse because the relationship goes far beyond love. And before you start to relate to someone at any level, you need to know yourself because without that my friend you can reproduce patterns that even you condemn.
We are stubborn and we tend to cling to socially constructed ideas according to what we think, or rather, what the group we are in determines as morally accepted. And the heart of the social conflicts in our interpersonal relationships comes precisely from this attachment because we believe that the other people should act in the same way that we act and when that doesn't happen, we feel anger, hate and we are intolerant. Do you see any relationship with what we currently experience?
Relationship for me is very much linked to trust and for that I need to know and understand the terrain that I will enter so much that, when I meet someone, I am more of listening than talking. I have few friends and most of them when we met they didn’t have a good impression of me. They thought I was introspective and whippersnapper. If they stayed in my life it was because I evaluated and realised that they were people who would add a lot to my life and so I started to approach them and of course sometimes there are mistakes here, another there, but I am really impressed with my sixth sense because it is very accurate.
I don't look for quantity, I look for quality in my friendships.
In the professional relationship I tend to not get too much involved with co-workers. I have great friends that I made just at work, but I'm not one of those who goes out with the guys for happy hour or who does those little parties that usually happen on a weekend. I am very reserved about the work environment.
Now let's talk about a love relationship. I was never looking to have deeper relationships, I don't know if I was afraid because of the relationship model I had at home or if I really have a lot of love to give to just one person. I am 40 years old now and believe me, I only dated twice, one didn’t last a year and the other lasted seven years. But in between times, I only went out with the person once, twice, at most three times.
I do not believe that we were made to love only one person and that our selfishness only allows the person we love to love only us.
We are beings with unique personalities and it would be impossible to be able to love one person just because you end up having different affinities with different people.